The 6 Types Of Questions You Need To Start Asking People

Animals are impressive. They have consciousness and have developed methods of communication, but what separates us, the humans, is how elaborate our methods of communication are. We are not limited to snarls, barks, and growls to ward off threats, and we don’t build nests to express an interest to mate.

We have language.

Conversation also builds bridges.

If eye contact is an invitation to engage, or an expression of interest, then conversation constructs the foundation that a relationship will be built upon.

It’s in conversation that we explore each other, hoping to find shared interests and common ground. Similar to how salespeople schedule “Discovery Calls” we use first conversations to qualify each other out, and determine if we will continue to nurture our relationship.

Bluntly put, we’re evaluating each other and deciding how much effort we want to put into the new people we meet.

But, there’s a darker side to this. Less common in grocery store or local post office interactions, is the conversation you’ll hear if you go out on a Thursday night in your “work clothes”: What do you do? Where did you go to school? Do you know (insert name)?

A series of questions, presenting as attempts to find mutual interest and connections, masking a self-serving exploration of your value. Don’t be fooled, the hosts of these conversations are only listening to respond, not to understand.

To combat these interactions, what I propose is that rather than racing to identify the role a person will play in our lives, and estimating the value they add to ours, we work to find comfort as we tread the waters of the curiosity pool.

We can do this with inclusive questions and intentional conversation.

For those who see a list title, click, and quickly scroll through to extract quick bits of info, I’m going to drop the questions in here for you now, but know that…

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