Comedy As My Medication

I would like to start off by saying that comedy is not my only medication, but I would consider it to be one of my medications. Even before I ever acknowledged that I suffered from depression, comedy, in all its various forms, playing a big role in my life.

There is the generic statement, “Laughter is the best medicine” — That may not be the best advice, but there is definitely some truth to that statement, at least for me anyway. I remember last year when I was really struggling with my depression and anxiety, I would often come home from work and watch the show Parks & Recreation. Out of all my favorite tv shows, that one seems to put me in the best mood when I am feeling down. This isn’t just because of how funny the show is, but also how relatable the characters can be, and how positive and bubbly it can be. Yes, even when the characters are struggling, there seems to be this positive tone that elevates the story, characters, and humor for me. I guess the only exception is when they make funny of Gerry/Gary/Larry/Terry :)

I also tend to really connect with the shows about comedians. Now, I am definitely not a comedian. People tell me I should be, but I will never become a comic. I do love to make people laugh, but I don’t love being on stage, or writing out jokes. I am not that clever, and I don’t care to be. All this being said, I tend to really relate to the characters in shows about comedians. One of my current favorites is Crashing on HBO. Pete Holmes and his struggles are so relatable, and knowing that he pulled from his real life for the show just makes me appreciate it even more. In the show, life keeps kicking his ass, and he struggles in his comedy career, and the show really displays real life issues, trauma, depression, etc in a relatable way….and yet he keeps going, and in real life, Pete Holmes also pushed through and now has a successful comedy career, popular podcast, and has created the funniest Batman parody videos ever made. Seriously, go on youtube and look up Pete Holmes Batman videos, I promise you they are hilarious.

I’m not writing this just to promote some of my favorite shows, but just to share that these are things I geek out about. The world of comedy in general is as big to me as comic books, action and sci-fi movies, etc. When people ask me what my favorite movies are, comedies tend to outshine everything else. Hell, if you look at 2008, we had 2 HUGE movies in the geek community, Iron Man & The Dark Knight. Both movies are amazing, and both set the standard in the different ways the superhero/comic book movie genre can go. All this being said, I don’t consider them to be my favorite movies of 2008. No, instead my 2 favorite movies of that year are Forgetting Sarah Marshall & Step Brothers. My close friends and family are used to hearing me quote both of those movies pretty often. I’ve watched both over a dozen times, and I still laugh hysterically when I watch them.

I chose those specific movies because they were important for me that year. I was having some major personal struggles, between work, dating, my self esteem, and it was the first year of my adulthood that I started to feel like a failure on a constant basis. However, I found things to make me laugh, and when they made me laugh, it brought me to a better place. Even after watching funny movies or tv shows, I am usually happier, or at least lifted out of whatever pit I have fallen into. Even if it’s just for a little while, it’s important for me to have that. Sure, it might be an escape in the eyes of others, but for me it’s a starting point. If I can laugh, I don’t forget my struggles, but it helps me begin the process of putting those struggles in their proper places, and not allowing them to control me.

One of my struggles throughout my life has been low self esteem. It started specifically when I was a teenager. At a certain point in time, I started to make people laugh, and I enjoyed it. The problem was, I thought this was the only way to get people to like or respect me. Now don’t get me wrong, I was an awkward and goofy kid, so I did struggle to make friends sometimes, but I didn’t realize that I had to turn to humor to make friends or earn respect. I just needed to open up more. Unfortunately, that isn’t something that registered with me, so I continues to just be the goofy kid that made a lot of jokes and liked to make people laugh. It made me feel better about myself, but I was always still miserable. To this day, I still like to make people laugh, but after all these years, I have finally learned to respect myself. I have finally opened up to people, and I STILL try to make people laugh. I still enjoy doing that, but I no longer feel that I have to do so to get respect.

These days, I am in a much healthier place. I am getting the mental health treatment that I need, I don’t struggle with low self esteem like I have for most of my life, and my love for comedy has never been stronger, just as my love for comic books, sci-fi, etc have never been stronger. I am a geek of many things, and I am proud to be who I am.

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